Pass the penicillin.
Facebook is a social disease, not a social network.
It’s a soul-sapping time-suck that’s turning users into self-absorbed, online zombies, obsessed with “friends,” status updates and Farmville.
That’s when it isn’t ruining your marriage, setting you up for a robbery or breeding bullies.
No wonder the theme song to “The Social Network” movie is Radiohead’s “Creep.”
The flick, based on the non-fiction book by Ben Mezrich, and opening in theaters Oct.1, is a scathing inside look at the birth of e-voyeurism.
Hatched by Harvard alum Mark Zuckerberg (well, maybe - the film says he stole the idea), the viral hot zone spawned an online revolution that changed the way we communicate, work and play.
But before they erect a statue of billionaire Zuckerberg hunched over a laptop in Harvard Yard, let’s remember one thing: Facebook is killing us.
We don’t live - we friend, poke, post and link. We think in status updates, share way too much personal information and stalk high school crushes.
And like a virulent social disease, Facebook is spreading across the planet - there are 500 million users. And counting.
The Ivy Leaguers at Harvard were Patient Zero, who used it as a way to look up co-eds online.
Then, the infection spread. Suddenly, your Dad was poking you and your crazy cousin was posting Glenn Beck clips. You learned that your friend Jen didn’t really do a whole lot at work and your buddy Steve has a drinking problem. Meanwhile, your kids were posting half-naked photos of themselves.
Your colleague got robbed because she spent a week posting pictures while vacationing in Capri. And you can’t stop being jealous of the high school friend with the perfect job, family and recently renovated kitchen.
It gets worse, of course. Most recently, a group of boys gang-raped a girl and posted the photos on Facebook, and a string of burglaries in New Hampshire were linked to the site.
And does anyone really need to know that their friends “like” a certain brand of doughnut?
Our only hope is that a Facebook backlash will cleanse the landscape, like a crop-duster full of Purell. I’ve broached this idea with some friends. And guess what? They “liked” it.
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